torsdag 3. november 2016

Work diary Friday, week 43

New tactic today. I decided to force myself to be a positive person. I am not optimistic about pulling it off.

The positivity followed me to the bathroom. I decided to dedicate this day of my life to focus on making things better for someone else.

But when I arrived work, all the positivity disappeared. The mouse had been removed. What a letdown. I decided to focus on myself again.

Once again I decided to test the eating something to come up with something to write about. I found a giant chocolate bar with illustrations of blueberries on it. Maby it contains antioxidants that we can find plenty of in blueberries. Antioxidants terminate or slow down the oxidation of chemical substances in the body. Maby they also terminate drought of ideas.

When I went to bed that night I had a feeling I had speeded up the oxidation of the chemical substances. Chain reactions were happening all over my body, from the top to my toes. My dramatic week ended with my body maby on its way to dissolving.

Work diary Thursday, week 43

The udentified insect was back again thanks to brushing my nostrils instead of my teeth. I wonder what insect family it belongs to. My guess is the diptera order, but it can also be the moth order.

The dead mouse from last week is still lying on the same spot. It has started to smell really bad. 

I decided to write something about the stinky, dead mouse. but at the moment it seems like I will not be able to produce anything in a very long time. If you are not able to write about a mouse that has been ran over by a forklift truck, then you can talk about a good old fashioned writer`s block.

Drastic changes were needed. I decided to go from sugar related products to salt related ones. In my search for sometrhing to crush the writer`s block I found a pringle with extra strong chilli flavour.

The chilli didn`t clear my mind, but it only resulted in a more painful visit to the toilet. Enough said. I will not illustrate it for this blog.

It was very painful to brush the teeth afterwards as well.  Maby I should go back to sugar related products again.

onsdag 2. november 2016

Work diary Wednesday, week 43

Another workday finished without any highlights at all. That meant nothing at all to enter in this blog. All this made me so stressed that it affected my communication with others in the traffic home from work.
I could always lie, but I have my principles and my morals are of a very high standard. I tried some relaxing methodes, but the result was being even more tense.

I bought a brioche. I have heard eating brioche gives you great ideas.

It was not true. I don`t know who said those words, but I concluded it was most likely the supplier of the product. It only gave me a full stomach and a dizzy head.

The dizziness had consequences for my dental health, but the nostrils have never been so clean in my whole life. Maby I should launch a nostrilpaste and become superrich. If any of the readers steal this idea, I demand fifty percent of the income.

The nostrilpaste will of course come with a sleeping pill. The extremely fresh nostrils made me wide awake. I decided to write my very first poem, but I found out that this was a struggle for me as well.

Work diary Tuesday, week 43

Another day with "The Greatest Struggle". I bet The Great Depression was a walk in the park compared to what I am experiencing this week. If I had a time machine I would gladely have traveled back to the mid thirties in the US to get some relief from my situation.

Today`s choice of medicine for killing the drought of ideas was a huge chocolate bar. I was very optomistic after the purchase. The next great novel was just around the corner.

But it only helped me with being even more aware of the fact that my job almost never creates carpe diem moments.

I laid awake in bed for hours before I was able to fall asleep. It was a combination of being worried about my blog and feeling like puking any second after eating the whole chocolate bar.

Work diary Monday, week 43

I am still experiencing a drought of ideas. The fact that nothing interresting happened at work today makes the work with this blog really difficult. But when I sat down and analyzed the whole situation, I realized that this is not just an ordinary drought of ideas, but possibly one of the most dramatic ones ever in the history of experiencing a drought of ideas.

The work diary creator breaking two pencils simultaneously when being very angry for not being able to come up with something to write about. Top shelf Hollywood, Bollywood and Nollywood drama worthy.

The drama was everywhere. It was so boring at work today that I managed to fall asleep while doing some necessary business. That led to some huge and dramatic consequences for my work colleagues.

I went to the shop and bought some chocolatecovered gingerbreads in a hope to kickstart a brainstorm. Great writers, scientists and Nobel prize winners in general tend to go for a walk to clear their minds. I buy sweets.

This was the first time ever I have tasted chocolatecovered gingerbreads.I was very happy with the taste of the product, but it didn`t seem to give any affect to the creative side of  my brain.

But after finishing half the box of gingerbreads, the creative right side had totally been paralyzed. Luckily only fifty percent of the left side of the brain that performs tasks that has to do with logic had suffered the same fate. This was enough for me to be able to get into bed for the night. I had to skip brushing my teeth. 

The first day of covering the greatest and most dramatic drought of ideas in the history ever was nothing but success. Broken pencils, half the brain paralyzed, a dramatic visit to the toilet. SAY NO MORE !.