søndag 31. desember 2017

2018 New Years resolutions

It Is that time of the year when you chose what you want to do to improve the forthcoming year. This traditional custom has not been very successful for me so far, but for 2018 I made a very long list and then edited it down to a few. I believe this list will kickstart something very good for me that will also benefit the whole planet. Happy New Year !.

onsdag 27. desember 2017

Christmas Eve 2017

Tanjetsfilms have just finished celebrating the birth of Jesus by eating way too much food and gaining pain in the stomach. Happy birthday Jesus !.

I am not sure if the theme for the evening reflected a lot from the way we celebrated it. It`s been a long time since I last time red the story.

When dinner and dessert were consumed it was time for cake. I was so full that I decided to not finish the cake and instead google the theme gastric suction...just in case.

The evening was finished with gifts. Among them was a box of chocolate. I made the right decision that evening to not eat it the same day. Merry Christmas !.

mandag 18. desember 2017

Christmas cookies 2017

I promised myself last year that the 2016 christmas cookies armageddon would never happen again. It was an epic war on cookies, but with the help from the Takeru Kobayashi eating technique I was able to fight down the different cookies armies. I was pretty sure I was facing the end times.
Everything looked promising this year. The daughters of the employee with the evil cookies list no longer play handball. It looked like my luck finally had turned,....

...but then a new employee steps in.

To make it even worse, the daughters play for the club Skedsmo. It is a local club to my favourite team Lillestrom SK. They might later become profiles for LSK. If that is the case, I am obliged to make a contribution. It is logic.

I had to do a research about this on the ultimate Lillestrom SK encyclopedia, Kanaripedia. Unfortunately I found two huge profiles who had strong connections to Skedsmo FK. It looks like Christmas will be a struggle in 2017 as well.

Club legend Torgeir Bjarmann played 306 games for LSK between 1988 - 2003. He made it a struggle for strikers to score goals against LSK. Now he is making a struggle for me because he played for Skedsmo during his childhood years.

Marit Sandvei played 150 games between 2010 - 2017 and won 9 national trophies with LSK. She was famous for playing the ball between the legs of defenders before she assisted a goal. Now I have to eat a lot of cookies because she spent her childhood years playing for Skedsmo.

The newly gained info about the club Skedsmo FK forced me to yet again purchase a record number of boxes with cookies. 9 in total is a new record that will stand at least for a year. My health will worsen this christmas. Not even the Kobayashi technique will help me this time.

I have never seen a more surprised expression on a face when the list was picked up on deadline day. You could see the norwegian kroners sign in her eyes.

When she finally got her act toghether she was very eager to leave the room immediately. Let`s hope for a comeback for the retired handball daughters next year + retirements for the football daughters.

onsdag 13. desember 2017

The dangerous sugar craving

We are used to a lot of sugar related products at work. It is therefore a huge sugar craving probleme when we experience a dramatic drought of sweets. Yesterday was such a day.

One coworker had to stay at home because of illness. She is known to have a box with chocolate truffles in her office. The craving and temtation added together made it impossible to not use it in a crisis solution, but it was extremely scary to go into the dark room and be the thief. I heard voices and sounds from everywhere.

The traumatic experience completely destroyed the joy of eating the tasty chocolate truffel afterwards. I had stomach pain the rest of the day. I will probably do it again if same situation occur in the future despite this horrific episode.

søndag 10. desember 2017

I want stomach flue again

Back to work again and I realize that, after all, stomach flue is actually a better option than spending time at work. I get desperate and find a box with cheap, not so very tasty, wine gums and hope they will help me to a second spell with the illness. I also did some research on it on the internet, but could not find any credible recipes to get it. Maybe they are on the dark net.

Unfortunately they were not much of a help. I was still bored, but on top of that I also got a bit dizzy. I am still in search for any non chronological illness that can give me a couple days off during the weekdays. Wish me luck.

lørdag 9. desember 2017

A stomach flue I did not ask for

It had not been many inspirational days at work lately when this thought went through my mind.

The day after I dad stomach flue. Big time !. 

When this shit happens, you start to wonder if there is a God up there, and can he actually hear and see us all the time... and read every frickin thoughts that goes throug our heads ?. If that is the case, I DID NOT ask for this illness from him. I did not put it down as a prayer. I did not start my thought with a "Dear God", nor did I end it with "Amen" or "so be it". Too many mistakes from him and he can lose more poupularity on his planet. I certainly have no sudden plans in the near future to visit a church after this ordeal.

Stomach flue is definitely no fun. Luckily this one lasted for just three days, but during the time it made me think scary thoughts. It gives me chills thinking about some of them now.

tirsdag 5. desember 2017

Christmas time can give you tough experiences at work

Christmastime will most likely give me a couple of tough experiences the next weeks. I can still remember last year`s Sain Lucia`s day with horror. Two from upstairs dressed as the famous saint from Syracuse came downstairs to give us a nice little break from the hard work, but hey actually made the workday a lot harder. The homemade moulded wine was to blame for most of it.
My consentration on the "beautiful" performance of the Saint Lucia song was heavily disturbed by the dreadful taste of the traditional moulded wine.

The moulded wine tasted and smelled more like the heavy stuff my dentist fill my teeth with. I have had "the privelige" to taste it on several occasions during my lifetime so far, so I know what I am talking about.

It made me think that maybe the ingredients for the moulded wine were found during dumster diving. The hipster trend had reached this christmas celebration as well, and one of their stops were outside a dental clinic.

I could see them crunching pulled teeth in an expensive, top of the range designer spice crusher and then mix it into the pot. It was not fun to realise that I had just drunk someones pulverized molar.

I politely declined refill when asked. Because of the bad taste I was temted to tell them that Saint Lucia was sentenced to serve in a brothel, aka whorehouse. I will consider to do it this year if the quality on the moulded wine has not improved.