søndag 31. desember 2017

2018 New Years resolutions


It Is that time of the year when you chose what you want to do to improve the forthcoming year. This traditional custom has not been very successful for me so far, but for 2018 I made a very long list and then edited it down to a few. I believe this list will kickstart something very good for me that will also benefit the whole planet. Happy New Year !.

onsdag 27. desember 2017

Christmas Eve 2017

Tanjetsfilms have just finished celebrating the birth of Jesus by eating way too much food and gaining pain in the stomach. Happy birthday Jesus !.

I am not sure if the theme for the evening reflected a lot from the way we celebrated it. It`s been a long time since I last time red the story.

When dinner and dessert were consumed it was time for cake. I was so full that I decided to not finish the cake and instead google the theme gastric suction...just in case.

The evening was finished with gifts. Among them was a box of chocolate. I made the right decision that evening to not eat it the same day. Merry Christmas !.

mandag 18. desember 2017

Christmas cookies 2017


I promised myself last year that the 2016 christmas cookies armageddon would never happen again. It was an epic war on cookies, but with the help from the Takeru Kobayashi eating technique I was able to fight down the different cookies armies. I was pretty sure I was facing the end times.
Everything looked promising this year. The daughters of the employee with the evil cookies list no longer play handball. It looked like my luck finally had turned,....

...but then a new employee steps in.

To make it even worse, the daughters play for the club Skedsmo. It is a local club to my favourite team Lillestrom SK. They might later become profiles for LSK. If that is the case, I am obliged to make a contribution. It is logic.

I had to do a research about this on the ultimate Lillestrom SK encyclopedia, Kanaripedia. Unfortunately I found two huge profiles who had strong connections to Skedsmo FK. It looks like Christmas will be a struggle in 2017 as well.

Club legend Torgeir Bjarmann played 306 games for LSK between 1988 - 2003. He made it a struggle for strikers to score goals against LSK. Now he is making a struggle for me because he played for Skedsmo during his childhood years.

Marit Sandvei played 150 games between 2010 - 2017 and won 9 national trophies with LSK. She was famous for playing the ball between the legs of defenders before she assisted a goal. Now I have to eat a lot of cookies because she spent her childhood years playing for Skedsmo.

The newly gained info about the club Skedsmo FK forced me to yet again purchase a record number of boxes with cookies. 9 in total is a new record that will stand at least for a year. My health will worsen this christmas. Not even the Kobayashi technique will help me this time.

I have never seen a more surprised expression on a face when the list was picked up on deadline day. You could see the norwegian kroners sign in her eyes.

When she finally got her act toghether she was very eager to leave the room immediately. Let`s hope for a comeback for the retired handball daughters next year + retirements for the football daughters.



onsdag 13. desember 2017

The dangerous sugar craving

We are used to a lot of sugar related products at work. It is therefore a huge sugar craving probleme when we experience a dramatic drought of sweets. Yesterday was such a day.

One coworker had to stay at home because of illness. She is known to have a box with chocolate truffles in her office. The craving and temtation added together made it impossible to not use it in a crisis solution, but it was extremely scary to go into the dark room and be the thief. I heard voices and sounds from everywhere.

The traumatic experience completely destroyed the joy of eating the tasty chocolate truffel afterwards. I had stomach pain the rest of the day. I will probably do it again if same situation occur in the future despite this horrific episode.

søndag 10. desember 2017

I want stomach flue again

Back to work again and I realize that, after all, stomach flue is actually a better option than spending time at work. I get desperate and find a box with cheap, not so very tasty, wine gums and hope they will help me to a second spell with the illness. I also did some research on it on the internet, but could not find any credible recipes to get it. Maybe they are on the dark net.

Unfortunately they were not much of a help. I was still bored, but on top of that I also got a bit dizzy. I am still in search for any non chronological illness that can give me a couple days off during the weekdays. Wish me luck.

lørdag 9. desember 2017

A stomach flue I did not ask for

It had not been many inspirational days at work lately when this thought went through my mind.

The day after I dad stomach flue. Big time !. 

When this shit happens, you start to wonder if there is a God up there, and can he actually hear and see us all the time... and read every frickin thoughts that goes throug our heads ?. If that is the case, I DID NOT ask for this illness from him. I did not put it down as a prayer. I did not start my thought with a "Dear God", nor did I end it with "Amen" or "so be it". Too many mistakes from him and he can lose more poupularity on his planet. I certainly have no sudden plans in the near future to visit a church after this ordeal.

Stomach flue is definitely no fun. Luckily this one lasted for just three days, but during the time it made me think scary thoughts. It gives me chills thinking about some of them now.




tirsdag 5. desember 2017

Christmas time can give you tough experiences at work

Christmastime will most likely give me a couple of tough experiences the next weeks. I can still remember last year`s Sain Lucia`s day with horror. Two from upstairs dressed as the famous saint from Syracuse came downstairs to give us a nice little break from the hard work, but hey actually made the workday a lot harder. The homemade moulded wine was to blame for most of it.
My consentration on the "beautiful" performance of the Saint Lucia song was heavily disturbed by the dreadful taste of the traditional moulded wine.

The moulded wine tasted and smelled more like the heavy stuff my dentist fill my teeth with. I have had "the privelige" to taste it on several occasions during my lifetime so far, so I know what I am talking about.


It made me think that maybe the ingredients for the moulded wine were found during dumster diving. The hipster trend had reached this christmas celebration as well, and one of their stops were outside a dental clinic.

I could see them crunching pulled teeth in an expensive, top of the range designer spice crusher and then mix it into the pot. It was not fun to realise that I had just drunk someones pulverized molar.

I politely declined refill when asked. Because of the bad taste I was temted to tell them that Saint Lucia was sentenced to serve in a brothel, aka whorehouse. I will consider to do it this year if the quality on the moulded wine has not improved.


søndag 3. desember 2017

The evil christmas cookies of Norway

Once again it is getting close to the christmas celebration. A great joy for most Norwegians. For me it is that time of the year when work colleagues come in with the christmas cookies lists from their sons or daughters football tema, handball team, ice hockey team, cross country skiing team, floorball team, badminton team etc, etc, etc.. All the teams want to finance their healthy sport activities by selling not so healthy cookies to us mortals. Many different to chose from. Father`s cookies, sister`s cookies, aunt`s cookies, grandpa`s cookies, grandma`s cookies...The lists are long and many.
They use the same strategy every year. Their daughters and sons are being portrayed as victims in a horrible and cruel world. The most vulnerable, sensitive and naive persons are often being targeted. Basically the persons with most empathy for all the injustice in the world. I am not going to brag about my....I will stop here.

Last year I was once again targeted, but now I have managed to see a pattern. As soon as I have signed on for yet another recordbreaking number of boxes, the crocodile tears seem to disappear. We live in a ruthless world and no civilians are spared in this dirty business.

I desperately tried to change the ordre, but things got suddenly physical.

A couple of weeks later I had forgot about the whole thing and I was just about to try out a new diet...

Now I had to work past a record breaking number of boxes with the worlds most  unhealthy cookies ever, before I could start my new, planned and improved lifestyle. It was a tough end to 2016.
I decided to finish off the evil purchase as quickly as possible. The technique I decided to use is commonly used by the great Kobayashi. The notorious hot dog, meatballs. twinkers, tacos, hamburgers, pizza, ice cream and pasta eating champion from Nagano. You basically dip what you want to eat as fast as possible in buckets with water to make it easier to swallow. It was a success in the early phase...

..but after a while I realised that I did not have the same talent and capacity as the eating legend from Nagano. An extremely full stomach also made me clear sighted. With so many boxes purchased by me, I suspected they could afford more than just new drink bottles to the team. I was not happy with what I saw.

The last boxes I tried to push on customers, but I had to fight hard. Other victims of the evil parents of children doing sports were also trying to do the same. I do not look forward to christmas 2017.

søndag 19. november 2017

Flagcounter

It is back to work again tomorrow. Sundays can sometimes create small vacuums in time when you for instance wait to go to see a football match. Today is such a time and I tried to fill the vacuum by looking at the flagcounter for this blog. It is maby embarrassing to reveal that you acyually do it, but I believe my honesty will give me great advantages in the future....somehowe
When looking at the different countries that have visited, I created a belief that it was the most prominent persons that had taken their time to look at my thoughts and visions. I bet the few others that look at the flagcounter do exactly the same. Goethe and Ludvig von Beethoven would have visited my blog if they were alive.

It is kind of cool that the president of the USA probably sometimes use his time to look at my stuff. Most likely just before or after golfing.

Maby I should make a google search with the words "Tanjetsfilms blog + Donald Trump + fake news
+ twitter + Ivanka".

I then found a link that could tell me what countries that so far have not visited my blog. How do they dare ?. I immediately took it very personally.

None from Bolivia has looked at my blog so far. That means Evo Morales still hasn`t seen any of my stuff. He can`t be that busy.

Tanzania is another country. Are all their citizens also too busy to have a look at what I put on the internet ?. I doubt it.

Monaco is also on the list. Maby Macron should take more control over things down there. Are they a little bit too independent maby ?.

I am not so sure I will support Peru in any of their games in the World Cup finals in Russia next year.
They still have a couple of months left to sort things out. All it takes is less than a second. They don`t have to read anything. All I demand is one short visit. Is that too much to ask for ???.

torsdag 16. november 2017

Not among the lottery winners this time either

It was the big draw yesterday and once again my lottery ticket was overlooked. This is clearly a conspiracy against me. The worst thing about the whole experience are the articles about the winners the day after and how they will spend their sudden fortune. Yesterday`s winner is going to use it on a spa. What the f...????!!!. I hate spa !. I can think of 10000 million better things to do with a sudden fortune. This information made me hate the article even more. Why does the media post these sad stories ?. Probably only the winners find joy in reading them. Do they get a lot of clicks ?.

Sometimes I give these articles a lot of clicks. This may be the reason why they get a lot of them. I may be contributing to the whole misery. Looking forward to the next draw. I have a good feeling this time.

søndag 5. november 2017

Soon Monday morning again.

Back to work again tomorrow. I am not sure I look forward to it. Last week at work was not exactly a blast. Not even a single person was fired. Boring stuff !. The most interresting happening was when one of the co-workers brought in that strange cake baked by his wife. It was worthy being a part of the Twilight zone anthology series.
A usual I was going for a big slice, but it sliced itself on a completely different place from where I intended it to. It was scary stuff.

I was left with a smaller slice than usual. It was not a good feeling. The cake was so strange that I came up with the most likely conclusion to it all.

I bet there are lots of conflicts in their home because of all the cultural differences.

It can`t be easy being an alien living on this planet. Especially not in Norway.

I wish them all the best in the future...from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do them apart etc, etc, etc..
For me, I certainly hope this next week will be more interresting. The feeling is not good.